Wanted: Men who are hung who can stretch and distort their otherwise flaccid penises into various objects i.e. a parachute, the “Eyefull” Tower, a hamburger, a throbbing brain, a pelican and Yoda among many other “installations” – to become future puppeteers for The Puppetry of the Penis, an International sensation – the most successful Genital Origami Show ever – lasting about sixty minutes. Must also be insane, have a charming personality and balls. Cut or uncut may apply.
Yes. If you’ve got what it takes you too can play with yourself on stage and be paid for it. Originally conceived by Simon Morley in 1996 he has managed to make the most of his equipment. Along with brother Justin they are exhibitionists of the highest degree and nothing and I mean nothing comes between them and their audience.
Tacky, yes. Gross, sometimes. But absurdly amusing. Especially for all those ladies in the audience hungry to feast their eyes on some Australian prime pieces of meat. Although they will not be appearing through August 30th at 45 Bleecker Street Theatre. In their place are two much younger and thinner guys – college buddies – Americans, Rich Binning (who according to program notes “is amazingly hung”) and Christopher J Cannon (who thanks his parents for not cutting off his foreskin). Will they be able to successfully pull it off?
Immediately following the world famous signature installation of The Hamburger – both fellows were asked to join Simon and Justin on stage whereupon they dropped their trousers and proceeded to instruct the packed house in how to accomplish this eye popping act. They’ll do fine.
For those of you who might want to try this at home there is an instruction book available and a DVD. Even though you might be a White Castle as opposed to being a Big Mac, it’s all in trying to stretch your horizons into finding your new road to bliss.
There is also a camera technician who aims the lens on their members in close up which is flashed on a huge screen behind them. So every seat in the house is a great seat. And be forewarned – you might even be asked to help out on stage and have a Polaroid taken for posterity of your face between the…well, I don’t want to give everything away.
If after seeing this show you haven’t had your fill of testicles, shaved scrotums and pliable penises you can now book this act for Private Parties. Can you just imagine the expression on Nana’s face as she celebrates her 90th birthday with a surprise like Puppetry of the Penis – Private Parties? What a brainstorm! It might mean an immediate inheritance!
Opening for Simon and Justin as an added attraction was Rachael Feinstein – stand up comic – who I found a distraction while the audience ate her up. Trying her best to be a new Joan Rivers. Potty mouthed. Aggressive. Ready to put out. A heavy drinker. Topics: Beating off, porn, interracial relationships and her mother and Grandmother – scaring off unwanted pursuers by imitating her elder’s voices. Talk about a cock tease.
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