Oscar E Moore

If only!  The bar of excellence has once again been lowered for quality musicals on Broadway.  Perhaps I should rephrase by writing “non-musical musicals” for these productions lack that one very important factor – songs that are memorable with a strong melody.  Melody!  Whatever happened to melody?  It seems to have died.

Where are the new Jerry Hermans?  Bock and Harnicks?  Rodgers and Hammersteins?  Marvin Hamlisch?  Jule Styne?  The golden age of musical comedy composers and lyricists has vanished.  Replaced by mediocrity.

It saddens me tremendously.

DEATH BECOMES HER at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre (original home of THE SOUND OF MUSIC 1959) has recently opened to rave reviews.  This will not be one of them.  Thirty million bucks reportedly spent on glitz and glamour.  Signifying not much of anything.

Uneven at best.  A very bumpy ride.  Do I dare say that there are many dead spots along the way?  Well, I just did.

The somewhat, at times, vulgar as opposed to witty book with bah-da-boom jokes abounding is by Marco Pennette.  As the audience erupted with laughter which was often, I cringed.

The music and lyrics by Julia Mattison and Noel Carey will not go down in history as one of Broadway’s greatest scores.

However, there are two truly great performances given by Megan Hilty and Jennifer Simard as the two dueling, at odds with one another forever best friend divas Madeline Aston (movie star) and Helen Sharp (would be writer).

Portrayed in the 1992 movie of the same name starring Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn that was directed by Robert Zemeckis – of WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT fame – a zany 1940’s fantasy/comedy combining animation and live action that I loved.

Now movies are quite a different medium than the stage and therein lies some of the problems with this show directed and choreographed by Christopher Gattelli who tries his best in keeping the momentum of the thread bare plot going throwing in every conceivable gimmick to keep us from realizing the emptiness of the so-called plot.

But first we meet Viola Van Horn (Michelle Williams) the high priestess of an elixir that promises to restore youth and beauty for eternity and her squad of busy little helpers scampering about the stage.

And then we meet the main characters.  Madeline is in a new musical.  Her best friend Helen arrives backstage with her fiancée Ernest (Christopher Sieber) – a cosmetic surgeon.  Mad steals Ernest away from frumpy Helen and they marry which drives Helen mad where next we see her ten years later crazy in a hospital plotting her revenge after successfully being published and totally becoming famous and beautiful.  Still with me?  Mad is pushed backwards down the staircase in her lavish home in slow motion.  This is incredible!  What is even more incredible is that she does not die.  At the end of Act I we hear “It’s alive.”

It’s all so over-the-top and outrageous.  We get to see a decapitated head of Mad on a serving cart and complication after complication adding to the already complicated plot with Ernest reuniting Mad’s head to her body and both Mad and Helen trying to get Ernest to drink the potion so as to keep him around, for whenever they need some fixing up.

There is a LA CAGE AUX FOLLES look to the production numbers to keep our eyes busy while our minds become numb.  And we must never forget the words to the wise from Viola Van Horn – “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Which is my advice to you, future theatergoer.

All of the above might have been better served in a smaller production like LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS – a show with a great score and a person eating plant named Audrey.  Running at the Westside Theatre Upstairs.

CODA

I HAD A DREAM.  A CRAZY DREAM.  Helen and Madeline played by two bitchy drag queens.  Ernest a hunky sexy stud.  The all-male ensemble dressed ala Chippendale escorts with bow ties.  And Ernest winds up with his male nurse after recovering from his near-death experience with Mad and Helen.

Tickets through August 2025.  Two and one half hours including intermission.

PHOTOS:  Matthew Murphy & Evan Zimmerman

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